TLDR; Start with 2-4 habits. Establish them for at least 2-3 weeks. Enjoy your life

It’s been about two months since the start of the year. A time where many of us remember their New Year’s resolutions. Either you are still going strong or you have long abondende that notorious list. If you’re in the latter camp, you’re not alone. Research shows that 80-90% of New Year’s resolutions ultimately fail. The culprit often isn’t a lack of effort; it’s taking on too much at once.

This year, I set out with an ambitious list of daily habits I wanted to maintain. However, despite careful planning, I found myself spending nearly two hours each day on these routines. Habits like working out, reading, meditating, eating well, and journaling are all meaningful on their own, but together, they became a time-consuming and exhausting list. The initial excitement faded, and the joy of making progress turned into a chore. It was more about the completion of a routine than about the joy of doing it.

I could still keep them up for a while. But then we had to move. Moving alone is stressfull enough. Packing things, getting boxes, organizing everything. If you moved recently, you knwo what I mean. If it was w while back, you probably repressed it ;). I have two little kids. That does not make it easier. After the move I was drained and let go of many of my previously established habits.

After reflecting on this, I realized that my problem was scale, not ambition. I also realized that I didn’t really establish them very well. Habits are best formed gradually, allowing each one to become truly embedded in your life. Studies suggest it can take anywhere from 21 days to several months to form a habit, depending on the task and individual context. In my experience, focusing on just two to four core habits for a couple of months has worked best.

I restructured my approach, prioritizing only the essential habits that are most meaningful to my long-term goals. I moved everything else to a habit backlog ( a list of things to do in the future). This change has not only helped me feel less overwhelmed but also restored my motivation and focus.

Ultimately, we may only need 10-12 core habits in a lifetime to keep us on a meaningful path, and allowing each to become fully established is worth the time. Building fewer habits at a time brings balance, focus, and the freedom to grow sustainably.