Watch your thoughts, they become your words;

Watch your words, they become your actions;

Watch your actions, they become your habits;

Watch your habits, they become your character;

Watch your character, it becomes your destiny.

– Lao tse

Good habits are in my opinion the best way to change your destiny. In the past I often tried to develop new routines and habits to change my life for the better. I almost always failed.

Until recently when I decided to put some research into the subject and explore the reason behind my failing.

I found people that establish more than 100 new habits a year. Imagine the impact that could have on your life.

These are the 5 reasons I found:

1. Your new routines are way too hard

We all have been there. We are motivated to the sky to pick up some new routine. Maybe we watched a movie, talked to a friend or it is new years again and we hav a long list of resolutions.

We then get to it. Hitting the gym two maybe three times a week for a good hour. At first it is going great. But after a while we miss a few work outs.

And then we stop altogether. The reason? Your new routine was too hard.
You don’t become a pro athlete by training like a pro athlete from the beginning. You start with beginner training and work your way up.

Habits should take the minimal amount of effort to do.

Going to the gym 2–3 times for one hour is way too much.

Instead consider staring with one exercise a day.

You can still do one squat on a bad day. Going to the gym for one hour on a bad day, not so much.

2. You start too many new habits at once

I should eat healthier, I should work out more, meditation is great, I have a friend who does mindful practices I wann do this too.

This is a great recipe to not get anything done.

We are creatures of habits and our brain does not like it when it has to work too much. Starting too many new things at once is too much. Your brain will come up with ways to distract you.

Instead start with 3 + 1 habit (see 5.).

Everything else on your list can go into a habit backlog.

Once they are established move on to the highest item in your backlog list.

3. Your habits are not specific enough

Working out, eating healthier and being mindful all sound wonderful.

The problem: they are not specific enough.

Habits should require the minimum amount of will power to do them. Deciding what you will do when you start your routine is too much mental work.

It should be clear what, where and how long you will do a certain activity.

Eat at least 300 grams of vegetables or fruits a day is specific.

4. Your habits are not enjoyable enough

It is as simple as that, If you don’t like what you are doing, you will stop.

Creating new habits and routines should be something enjoyable, not torture.

Maybe this is a good time to reflect upon why you chose that new habit in the first place. It might be something you picked up somewhere else but is not really for you.

Take me for instance: I like workouts but I don’t enjoy running.

So instead I built my workout routine around something I like more.

But gee, taking out the garbage is never enjoyable!
In that case combine it with something you like. Listening to your favorite podcast or music comes to mind.

5. You don’t work on your habits

Remember when you were a little kid and imagined 3 wishes from a ferry?
What was the last wish? Mine was always 3 more wishes.

Funnily enough we can apply that to establishing our habits as well.

I call it my main, or review habit.

It means the first new habit I established was the habit to work on my other habits.

By working on them, I mean checking if I did them. If not, how can I remind myself?

I also check if they are enjoyable enough and if I can maybe change something.

For example I started a workout habit: body weight exercises for 10 minutes. At first I was motivated and it went well.

After a while the motivation left and I missed a fes sessions. I reflected on that in my review habit and changed it with many iterations to 3 minutes daily either stretching/cardio/body-weight exercises.

I feel better than ever

I hope this helps you on your journey to become a better person.